#unless they’re gay and not even interested in women

[thedimenotmensioned]

Rule #1 in life. Stay away from niggas or you WILL be attacked.

[physalian]

3 More Character Types the World Needs More Of

Or at least, I do.

1. The denied redeemed villain

I need this. So badly right now. So, so, so many “redemption arcs” are half-assed and carry undertones of guilt by the heroes, gaslighting them into thinking the villain “wasn’t all that bad” right before they make some big heroic sacrifice, as if that’s ever enough to make up for the damage that was done.

But you know what I never see? A villain who’s done some awful shit, wakes up to reality, tries to apologize and… is denied. No, it’s not enough to be sorry. No, you’re not absolved of your crimes just because you cry really hard on your knees. Yes, you have to work for it. Yes, even if you work for it for the rest of your whole life, those you hurt are not obligated to forgive you.

Example that sadly did not happen in canon: Enji Todoroki

2. The liar revealed who loses

This fucker lies and cheats his way into his lover’s arms (and liars revealed are always men, because their love interests are always women put in the place of “but he tried really hard and you need to forgive him uwu” unless it’s gay). Similar to above, no, you do not get rewarded just for feeling sorry.

This character builds an entire relationship (and it’s specifically romance that I take such an issue with) on a lie. They are not who they say they are, specifically, they lie about their identity because they know their lover would not let this happen if they knew the truth.

It’s one thing to lie about something inconsequential, or to lie about something unrelated, but to lie deliberately to present yourself as the perfect suitor—and these are never little white lies, these are usually entirely false identities, or secrets so damning that risking the truth could mean arrest or even death—just. Why?

Yeah, okay, you never thought you’d get this far. Cool. You don’t have to tell her the truth, but you have to leave before you trick her into sleeping with you.

It’s just. So squicky. And the lesson always is that he deserves love, that he makes up for it with everything else, that he’s just got a winning personality. She always forgives him, even if they fight about it, it’s so, so predictable.

Examples that did not lose: Aladdin, Evan Hansen

3. The paragon who loses faith

I don’t know that we need a whole bunch of these characters, but so many paragons are painted as heroes with unshakable loyalty to their causes and I’d love to see a devolution of character where they just can’t keep smiling and pretending it’s alright. That there is a limit to how much shit they can take.

They don’t have to go full villain, but maybe they just stop caring, maybe they get cynical, maybe they just don’t show up for work the next day, maybe they’re not there when they’re needed the most.

There’s a few stories I can think of where the masses realize they’ve screwed up and show the hero that their faith has been rewarded (Nolan Bats being one of them) but I mean really a hero who just cannot take it anymore, throws in the towel, and walks away knowing it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do.

Example: (kind of) Captain America

—

Sorry this list is kind of a bummer. It’s a bummer kind of week.

[sevensinswithin]

Okay so to everyone who was here for the original post, here’s basically how Alicent and Laenor get married in my lavender marriage au:

The entire thing starts because Alicent catches Laenor and Joffrey fucking in a secluded part of the castle a few weeks before Aemma dies. The boys only realize they’ve been caught because Alicent runs away from them like her ass is on fire. That girl had no idea gay male sex was an option in life and now needs to reevaluate everything in her life after catching them.

Laenor then spends the next few weeks trying to find a way to get her alone because guess what. Fucking in a secluded but also public area is not a good strategy if you want to keep your gay love affair a secret. So now Laenor is hoping to convince Alicent to stay quiet about what she saw because his dad seems to think he'll grow out of it (do not attack me, this literally happens in canon) and he doesn’t want anyone to know yet since it might impact who he’ll get married to eventually. Meanwhile Alicent is desperately trying to forget that she ever saw anything and doesn’t tell Otto about seeing Laenor and Joffrey because let's be real. This man said “childhood companions” like it was a slur in that one scene, so she knows that her father would do something with this information. Alicent does not want to be the reason Joffrey and Laenor are in trouble for their relationship. Nevermind that she’s suddenly having the realization that women liking women isn’t that far of a stretch after all.

Unfortunately, to everyone else in the world, it looks like Laenor is trying to court her and that Alicent is just trying to be very polite about his interest in her since she never wants to be alone in a room with him unless they’re around other people. Which is something that is totally normal and not weird at all. Why would you say otherwise?

Then Aemma dies and Otto sends her to see Viserys in his room and Alicent is now very stressed about something else in her life because she wants to do what her father says, but she also doesn’t want to betray Rhaenyra.

So during those six months after Aemma dies - which is apparently how much times passes between Aemma��s death and when Viserys decides to marry Alicent according to a HOTD article I read - Alicent, like in canon, is sent by her father to Viserys’ chambers and desperately hopes that her father’s ambitions won’t happen and that Viserys will simply see her as person that is supporting him in his grief.

(Life Hack: If you ever want to read an article and it says you have to make an account to read the rest of it, just go back to the google page you found it on, right click the link, and save the link as an HTML document. That lets you read the article without having to make an account. I found this out from someone on the internet and damn did it help when I wanted to access any account restricted article. Anyways, back to the plot.)

So to counteract that and make it so she’s less appealing to Viserys, Alicent always mentions Laenor and how fond of him she is during their talks. She also mentions how worried she is about Rhaenyra and her position as heir because there seems to be so many people that seem to be under the impression that they can replace her by having Viserys marry one of their daughters and convince him change his heir to one of the possible children he might have with those daughters.

Meanwhile, Laenor is absolutely losing his mind because all of a sudden Alicent is always around him and receptive to interacting with him, even though literally weeks before she avoided being around him like the plague. During this she also manages to wring out of him the fact that his parents (mainly Corlys, let's be real) are talking about potentially marrying Laena to Viserys and that he hates that idea as she’s way too young in his eyes for that. Eventually Alicent manages to find a way to be alone with Laenor and make him swear to secrecy about what she'll tell him because telling anyone might mean that his sister will actually have to marry Viserys. He does and she fills him in on what her father wants and what she’s attempting to do, and that she needs his cooperation to get him to at least appear like they’re courting.

So Alicent and Laenor put up the appearance that they’re at least attracted to each other to get people talking, which totally doesn’t ignite jealousy in Rhaenyra at the idea of Alicent being in love with her cousin. Cue Rhaenyra absolutely doing everything in her power to make Laenor appear like a loser to Alicent and the rest of the court. Alicent makes sure to get her to stop that shit real quick and tells Rhaenyra that she and Laenor are only pretending to be in love in order to avoid having to marry someone that would disrespect Laenor’s preference for men and disregard Alicent’s autonomy. Alicent also mentions that possibly marrying Laenor means that Alicent and Rhaenyra will be allowed to see each other very frequently as she will be Laenor’s wife and the Velaryons are often at court since they are related to the royal family. So now they have Rhaenyra on board.

Eventually the night before that one small council meeting where in canon Viserys announces that he’ll marry Alicent, Alicent “confesses” to Viserys that she’s in love with Laenor and that she wants to marry him, but that her father would never allow Alicent to marry Laenor because he and Lord Corlys dislike each other. She also lets it “slip” that Otto is very adamant that Viserys must have a male heir despite the fact that Rhaenyra has already been made heir, and that he sees Alicent as a potential bride for Viserys despite her unwillingness to marry her best friend’s father. She also sprinkles in the fact that Rhaenyra would be devastated at the idea of her father remarrying, especially if the bride in question were her best friend or even her little cousin (Yeah fuck you Corlys, you’re on thin ice for that and the grow out of it comment), and the fact that surely his wife would want him to defend his daughter’s claim to the Iron Throne from potential usurpers, which is something that would definitely happen if he had a son.

This causes Viserys to absolutely lose his shit, but Alicent calms him down and he sends her away from his chambers. However, not before Viserys hints that he would not dissolve a marriage between a highborn lady and lord if they eloped and consummated the marriage. So instead of heading straight to her rooms, Alicent instead books it to Laenor’s chambers. The two of them run off to a sept and convince a septon to marry them with a few commoners as their witnesses because they can’t take any nobles in fear of being stopped (and to also have the commoners spread the fact that Alicent and Laenor eloped). Then she and Laenor head off to Laenor’s chambers to consummate the marriage with the help of Joffrey, who they had stay in Laenor’s chambers so that no one would get him in trouble or notice that he was in the room with them during the consummation, and to have Alicent stay over so that people could catch them together in the morning and spread the news of her “ruined reputation”.

The next morning Laena bursts into Laenor’s chambers like she always does and “catches” them before running off to tell Rhaenys the way all little siblings do. So then Rhaenys and Corlys show up, as does Otto; he caught wind of the situation through a servant he paid off to spy on the Velaryons. Once there Otto starts shaming Alicent about her ruined reputation and Laenor retorts that she didn’t ruin anything as he married her before he bedded her. Otto then explodes at the pair when Laenor says that and Corlys rushes to defend his son against all the stuff Otto is saying and threatening him with.

Eventually their argument gets so loud that a servant rushes to get Viserys and a few guards since they’re afraid that the two lords will resort to violence. Trailing after them is Rhaenyra and the Small Council, as the meeting was supposed to start half an hour ago but certain people were missing and needed to be found. So now the entire Small Council, Rhaneyra, and Viserys are at the doorway of Laenor’s room while a furious Otto and Corlys trade insults. Meanwhile Rhaenys sees how afraid Alicent and Laenor are and rushes to the pair’s defense (because they need someone in their corner that isn’t shaming the other party), saying that perhaps the two wouldn’t have resorted to eloping if Otto and Corlys weren't always at odds. Seeing the King, Otto rushes to demand that he have the septon reverse the marriage, but Viserys reveals that he knows about Otto’s plan to make Alicent marry him and how he knows that she wished to marry Laenor instead. He then fires Otto from being Hand and sends him packing to Oldtown, approving of Laenor and Alicent’s marriage as a final insult to Otto. He also firmly informs the small council that he will not be getting remarried, that Rhaenyra will remain his heir, and that anyone who objects otherwise is speaking of treason.

So there you go, the outline for a story that I’m most likely going to write in non-linear bits. In this world Alicent is Lady of Driftmark, Laenor and Joffrey get to be happy, and Viserys prioritizes making sure that Rhaenyra’s claim to the throne is secure. Also somewhere down the line in this universe Rhaenyra and Alicent get their shit together and realize they’re in love with each other, and Rhaenyra gets to marry Harwin because Daemon never takes her to the brothel and so she gets to pick her husband and be the polyamorous bi queen we all love.

[strangestcase]

Actually I would like to shine a spotlight on the role of women in Jekyll and Hyde because in most versions of the story they’re there to be victims, defined by their suffering. Their personality is subsumed by their role: hapless sacrificial lamb, damsel in distress, battered whore, lover that gets a nasty taste of Jekyll’s true nature. Out of all of Hyde’s victims in the original book, the two who die and are named are men (Carew and Lanyon); the trampled little girl and the slapped match seller are but blips on the radar.

Fast forward to almost any 20th century movie adaptation of Jekyll and Hyde and the female characters added to the story so that it isn’t an entirely male cast (and to cudgel a romance into it, be it needed or not) almost always fit into one of two slots: Jekyll’s love interest, who sooner or later is victimized by Hyde… or Hyde’s punching bag. The latter usually is a sex worker he happily abuses, reinforcing both their positions in society— he the wealthy white man, she the un-person no-one would miss. And yes, we’re supposed to pity her, feel bad for her. Cringe when she dislikes Hyde and fear when she’s intrigued by him. There’s something sinister about how Jekyll and Hyde adaptations are morbidly fascinated with the killing of sex workers, the same way there’s something sinister about Stevenson’s refusal to mention women unless one is getting trampled underfoot.

Listen… I love Jekyll and Hyde to bits, I really do, but at the core of the story there is a hatred of women that is projected onto the characters and echoed with each movie, TV episode, and comic, even to this day. Women don’t matter and when they do they’re defined by their tortuous relationship to Jekyll/Hyde. I’m generalizing, of course, but it’s an upsetting trend.

I feel as if the intense homosocialization and hyperfocus on male professionalism in the original novella had been replicated in the worst ways with the way it is envisioned in pop culture, Hyde almost always painted preying on a random woman like he’s a vampire. There’s nothing wrong with gay subtext; there’s nothing wrong with a that focus; but Jekyll and Hyde as a piece of fiction is a fucking sausage party and I’m so tired of women being thrown at it like a bone to a pack of rabid dogs.

And then the fandom has the gall to go, “well the book is about gay men”. Don’t get angry at the (fictional) women getting raped and murdered- get angry at the people who decided all they have to do is get raped and murdered. And then, make the change yourself, since you’re so enlightened.

[gingebreadbeetle]

I know I said I would shut up about hazbin, this blog isn’t really created for hazbin/helluva boss content and was created so I could write essays on whatever interested me - and I suppose hazbin is that current interest?

But for me Hazbin Hotel is the plummeting point of media literacy regarding the Bible. I know , I know “ it’s a comedy set in hell! Of course it’s not going to be THE SAME! It’s for fun! It’s Vivs own spin on hell!!”

It’s a poorly researched hell, where there is no love in the world and for some reason the devil himself and the seven sins ( bar Mammon so far ) don’t even act like sins. And if that’s the case, why are actual bad people down there when the demons REPRESENTING THE SIN aren’t even half as bad?

Dante’s inferno is a self insert AO3 fan fiction before AO3 ever existed, but Dante knew how to write and convey emotion in his poetry - he knew how to write hell and he was dedicated to representing not only hell but it’s counter part realms.

Hazbin hotel feels like a self insert AO3 fanfic show but with only the worst parts and no reward. The world building is shit. The characters aren’t developed enough and their arcs are rushed. I know they only had eight episodes, but they’re trying to do too much. Fiona and Cake had a similar amount I believe ( 8-12? I can’t remember I’m sorry) and it still stands as an amazing show exploring like six different characters in the time it needed.

Viv’s characters don’t feel personal. They don’t feel like they had the same passion or love for the source material. But worst of all, for a comedy? I don’t feel rewarded watching an episode of Charlie’s daddy issues being resolved and the king of hell signing off on her idea in roughly 22 minutes. And I don’t find it funny seeing one of my favorite characters being used in a rape joke right after we do an episode on how sexual exploitation is bad.

This is a very messily structured essay I’m aware. I’m not a huge Bible lover, I’m not a Christian, and I don’t think we should diminished the harm Christianity has done.

However, it is clear Viv has only focused on just that, the harm the Bible has brought and none of its messaging of love, none of the best literature it’s brought and none of the movements it’s genuinely impacted in a positive way. ( Lillith being used as a feminist symbol for Jewish women?)

TLDR;

I’m very tired of witnessing comedy shows set in hell with little to no care for how it’s said to be. I’m tired of media repeating itself and thinking it’s new and fresh because there’s gay people! It’s not. Viv’s hell isn’t a fun idea. Hazbin hotel isn’t fun unless you enjoy instant gratification and no work towards the reward.

[darlingglassblossom]

Hot take but

Honestly between me being multigender and all this “what does lesbian mean” “who can use this term” “bi vs pan” etc nonsense over the years it has really just made me dislike sexuality labels as a concept.

Sexuality labels be them gay, bi, lesbian, whatever, they were not made with multigender or non binary people in mind. They were not made for a world beyond the binary. And there’s only so far you can stretch these meanings until they end up meaning nothing.

“I’m only attracted to women” “I’m only attracted to non-men” how? Literally how? How can you say with total certainty that no one you’ve ever wanted to fuck wasn’t a closeted trans man, multigender, or gender non-conforming, if you didn’t ask?

You literally cannot know someone’s gender unless they tell you. It’s not about their looks their interests their clothes or their pronouns. It’s nothing.

“I’m only attracted to people that arbitrarily picked this category, a fact I literally cannot know about them unless they tell me” THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS

Am I even really aromantic or do I just hate the idea of basically anyone being attracted to me because I feel like no matter what they’re going to be ignoring part of me?

[welcometololaland]

WIP WORKING WEEK PART 1: THE RING-IN (AGAIN) (not sure if this is 57 sentences exactly but here you go - TK, Carlos and Nancy go to a spin cycle class, and TK and Carlos assess the quality of the restrooms).

The spin cycle class is exactly as TK expects – sweaty, loud and full of middle aged women who are far better at riding a stationary bike than he is. On the upside, he gets to sneak looks at Carlos every thirty seconds and appreciate another perfect part of his husband’s physique: the way the muscles in his shoulders flex as he shifts the distribution of his weight, the tight swell of his ass in workout shorts, the way his skin looks golden in the dim lights, glittering with sweat. 

On the downside, so does everybody else.

Carlos is so distracting that the instructor has trouble maintaining control over the class. Despite their spin bike prowess, many of the women seem to be gradually losing interest in the class as Carlos gets increasingly sweaty. At some point, the music gets turned up, as does the instructor’s mic, trying to redirect attention to the fact that they’re supposed to be changing their resistance every few minutes. On a quick glance, TK suspects a fair few people haven’t gone up a level for half the class.

TK isn’t typically the jealous type. In fact, he feels vindicated by the attention Carlos gets because he finds the man borderline irresistible, and being in love with such a gorgeous creature has made him do some pretty insane things. Even so, there’s a limit to how much appreciation he can endure before he feels the need to savagely stake his claim.

“Stop looking like you want to murder that poor woman in her sleep,” Nancy says through laboured breaths. They’re just about to get back out of the saddle, although TK has sort of lost which part of the class they’re up to.

“Her jaw is practically on the floor,” TK mutters. “Do you think she could pick it up one of these days?”

“You can’t seriously be jealous of Janice over there,” Nancy snorts. “Have you forgotten that your husband is completely obsessed with you? He bought you a pet lizard the other day.”

“Bearded dragon,” TK corrects. “And the fact that Carlos loves me isn’t going to stop me informing the entire class that he’s gay and he’s mine.”

Nancy rolls her eyes, blinking as the sweat from her brow appears to momentarily blind her. “You need to cool down,” she says drily. “Go outside and then come back in when you’re ready to play nicely with the other children.”

“What? And look like I suck?!” TK protests. “I’m not giving Janice the satisfaction.”

“You do kinda suck,” Nancy mutters, “also – and I say this in the nicest way possible – no one is looking at you.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” TK snipes as he stops pedalling and hops off the spin bike, plucking his water bottle from the holder like it’s personally offended him. “Also, you suck.”

“Don’t forget your towel!” Nancy snickers, and then wobbles dangerously on her bike as TK pulls it off with a flourish. He feels like a matador tempting a bull, because the instructor gives him a very dirty look.

TK has to admit, once he’s back in the cool, heavily air-conditioned hallway, he starts to feel a lot better. There’s something about getting sweaty in a room full of other sweaty people that grosses him out a bit and he’s admittedly not the best at being told what to do. Unless it’s at his job, but that’s because he respects his father and Tommy more than he respects most people. A hell of a lot more than he respects any spin cycle instructor, at least.

“Hey,” Carlos says, dropping down onto the bench seat next to him. “What’s up? Are you okay?”

TK takes one look at him and wishes he didn’t, because the concern written into Carlos’ expression combined with his sweat-slicked curls and the big, irresistible brown eyes renders him completely weak.

“Yeah,” he replies. “Just sick of how good you look. Also, I don’t like spin cycle.”

Carlos arches an eyebrow. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Yes, you did,” TK mutters under his breath, but loses his train of thought completely as Carlos cups his cheek in one hand.

“You don’t like getting sweaty with me?” he asks, and although it sounds innocent, the wink that accompanies is anything but.

“Careful,” TK warns. “The restrooms are less than twenty feet away and I’m very frustrated.”

Carlos drops his hand and looks over his shoulder, before turning back to TK with a coy smile. “Think there’s anyone in them right now? The class is fully booked and it looks like the reception area is empty.”

TK stares, mouth watering. “Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?”

“Well,” Carlos replies mildly. “You must be rubbing off on me.”

“I’ll show you something else I can rub off,” TK smirks, before taking Carlos’ hand and tugging him towards the door.

[cxrveaux]

Because my dumb bitch ass binge watched CBS ghosts and ended up getting so into it, I made an ENTIRE SELF INSERT OC. (help me.) but now that I’m here on tumblr I might as well rant about said character to anyone interested 💔

His name is Elijah Anderson and he’s some 14 year old from 1999 who had been living in the Bronx before being abandoned on the property by his parents and dying of hypothermia 15 hours later. He’s elusive and has trust issues due to being abandoned by his parents and spent 25 years in the forest around the mansion hence why nobody is really aware of his presence except for Flower who has seen him a couple of times? But she’s kind of ditsy and not entirely there so she doesn’t really bring up/remember to mention him. The way the others probably find out about his presence is due to the fact that Flower was rambling and randomly mentioned “the kid in the woods.”

At first the other ghosts + Sam thought he was a human kid due to his lack of response to Flower’s presence (which wasn’t true, Flower would typically approach Elijah but he’d end up talking her out of being near him because of her short term memory)

But when it became apparent that Jay couldn’t perceive him, the others decided that this definitely was some ghost kid who had been on the property without the others knowing. So, the other ghosts would probably try some wild ass confrontation tactics on him which would probably just drive him away further from them (since he’s already very untrusting)

Eventually they were like “Pete getcho ass out there, you actually worked with children at some point” and even though Elijah was initially weary of him, Pete managed to get some sort of explanation (ex. Him hiding in the forest for so long) and long story short just came back to the mansion. (Got a bit lazy on this part, but it’s 2 am and I’m a sleep deprived 13 year old who doesn’t know how to write, bite me)

BUT…I did end up writing every single one of his relationships with the other characters so we’re gonna put that on here too 💔

Alberta: She’s surprisingly protective and almost motherly towards Elijah. She’s entertained by him poking fun at people (bonus points if directed at Isaac), and takes pride in his enjoyment of jazz music.

Pete: He’s probably the nicest to Elijah out of everyone. He’s very understanding of his trauma and helped him get more comfortable interacting with the others.

Trevor: They have a fairly strong bond with each other. Elijah is a bit disinterested in his whole “omg women” shtick, but they definitely pull pranks on the others together.

Hetty: She thinks Elijah is a bit abrasive and tries to avoid him mostly, which gave him the idea that she flat out doesn’t like him. This also makes her fall victim to a lot of his and Trevor’s antics.

Isaac: He’s an easy target to Elijah, and probably nothing more (because he’s gay and smelly 💔). However, I did think of an idea of Elijah being a closeted bisexual and turning to Isaac for advice.

Flower: Flower is pretty oblivious to his presence for the most part, even though she was the one who found him while she was frolicking outside. However, I don’t feel like Elijah would pick on her as much? Mainly since he thinks she’s really nice and doesn’t want to deal with Thor.

Thor: He’s definitely the most annoyed by this bitch ass child and would not think TWICE about throwing Elijah out the window. No silver lining, he’s just annoyed by this kid. He consistently also does this thing where he puts him on top of the fridge so he can’t get down unless he jumps off. The only thing I can see those two getting along about is watching bugs.

Sasappis: They probably just tolerate eachother. Sas occasionally will also partake in Trevor and Elijah’s pranks? But Elijah has too much damn respect for him to throw daggers at Sas (also because he knows that Sas knows how to insult people back and doesn’t want to risk that because he’s emotionally unstable)

Nigel: They’re cool with eachother? Like they both enjoy watching bugs (and they both like Spice Girls) but he also probably looks to Nigel for advice.

Nancy: Elijah is TERRIFIED of Nancy along with the other cholera ghosts. If homeboy had the choice between reliving freezing to death and going down into the boiler room, he’d choose death.

and to conclude here’s some extra headcanons about him because I have NOTHING but time.

-He’s constantly trembling uncontrollably as a side effect of being out in the cold for so long.

-His breath fogs up everywhere he goes

-Regardless of whether someone’s a ghost or not, just him being present is like “ayo did it get colder in here?”

-Any living that passes through him becomes inexplicably cold for a short period of time.

-He tends to communicate through ASL because he’s semiverbal anyways and his voice is permanently nasally.

-He is autistic and dyspraxic.

-He REALLY likes Garfield. Like he has encyclopedic knowledge on that damn cat.

[honeythekidsarealright]

Hii I hope you don’t mind me jumping on the advice train :)

I’m 26, a bi girl. The past year my dad introduced the woman he was dating to me as they’d get married. She has a couple siblings and the one we care about in this story is her brother. Decades ago when her brother was 30ish he married a woman (we’ll call her R) and had a daughter.. they divorced when the girl was a toddler but they’re cool with each other, no grudges etc. He now plans to marry the woman he met and R married a couple years ago with a man and had another two kids. So this is the background info.

Since my dad was planning to marry, his wife to be invited all the women to her bachelorette party and I went too. So that’s when I met R. (I had met her daughter before, she’s 20 btw and she’s 44). At first, I was like ooookay she’s pretty, and mind you I never was into older people, but there was something about her. When we had our first proper conversation she was really open, telling me all sorts of things of when she was young, how she’s cool with her ex’s new woman.. and i really started to admire her cause that’s a rare mindset.

I had then seen her another time which is uneventful but the third time I saw her was at the wedding. I couldn’t help but comment how pretty she looked and I think maybe I gave myself away by doing that because 1. If I was the type to praise in the ‘being a girl way’ all women’s looks why did I only compliment her xdd and 2. You don’t really feel that comfortable complimenting someone in their face if you’ve only seen them three times in your life..unless you’re interested in them right?XD Well later when we were at the dinner party a couple things proceeded to happen.

The dinner party was huge. Each family would be sat at different tables and she wasn’t sat in ours but when the music was playing and everyone was dancing she passed by our table for a little chat with me (I was sitting there lowkey bored). She said she’s going out to smoke and she’d love to chat but the music is loud but she’ll come by later. And so she did. Half an hour passed and she came and sat in our table, next to me. Jejjdjdjdjjdjd

She looked pretty and I couldn’t comprehend that this woman liked me so much as a person that she came and sat to chat with me so I had a lil gay panic. Keep in mind I’m usually shy and girls intimidate me so me being so expressive and flirty with her is really something that comes out on its own and i really need to control lol. So I really really tried to control the urge to flirt with her and would purposely focus on other things around the venue lmao. I offered her my drink but she had hers. Then happy bday song was playing for someone and I asked her her bday and she proceeded to tell me her sign lmaooo like the effort I had to put in order to avoid saying ‘Cool we match’ jsjsjsj it was crazy. But see I think she knew I like her otherwise why would she add her sign? She knew what I was up to.

And then, then what does she do. Out of nowhere, for no reason, she places her hand and grabs my knee.. I was wearing a skirt. On the part of my knee I spilled some water before she came which didn’t dry up so obviously when she put her hand there she felt it and I placed my hand on top of her hand and said ‘sorry that’s just water’. (Okay placing my hand on hers was also on purpose). But then what does she do??? Instead of removing her hand completely, she pulls up that part of my skirt that got wet, and places her hand on my knee again!!! Gay panic mode activated. I was desperately looking for a distraction in order to avoid my reaction but honestly what is that??? What does that even mean when you read it? It can’t be anything other than a flirt move. I mean, placing your hand on someone out of sympathy or because you like the person is one thing but grabbing their knee? And not just that, but pulling their skirt up and grabbing their knee again?? Like ‘I don’t care if you wet your skirt I’ll put my hand on your knee either way’ this is sending meeee

I couldn’t stop thinking about that the whole night and I really really did not want to react because 1. What if I’m reading things wrong (even though I don’t understand what else that move meant) and 2. This is a woman who has kids and a husband. And 3. The other option is she had suspicions I like her and was testing me but why would she go to such lengths and not just ignore it

So fast forward a couple of days which were mostly spent by me daydreaming about her, I saw her for a fourth time when I suggested she brings her daughter to my dad’s place so we play card games. I knew R would drive her there so I prepared myself to figure out if her move that night was something I misunderstood or if it really was something. So I decided, since I could not be verbally expressive in that context, to notice her body language.

And I noticed that while I was hugging my dad’s wife R did not break eye contact with me and smiled. Then when we all sat inside she’d be the one to turn to me and involve me in the conversation and she would tell jokes and directly look at me to make me laugh. So then, when she was about to leave and started walking towards the door, I purposely joked ‘no don’t leave us with them’ and observed her body language. Instead of standing there and going ‘but I have to take the kids home blah blah’ like any 40y old mother would, she smiled and walked towards me and just stood by my side hearing them all reply to my lame joke.

Like idk maybe she’s like this in general or maybe I’m overthinking but I really cannot label her knee move other than a flirty move and then my observation experiment gives away that she is indeed interested in me and it doesn’t prove that it’s romantically but at least it’s something

It’s been weeks since the last time we met cause obviously it needs to be a specific occasion but honestly I never thought I’d be in a place to have a crush over a milf and she has kids and I would love if she had an open relationship with her husband or if she didn’t mind a fling but I honestly don’t wanna hurt her family. I think the safest way is to wait for more opportunities which would show she feels the same way and just choose to daydream rather act on it. But I honestly can’t control my words when she’s around. It’s not even that she’s super hot, it’s just her energy draws me in.

I’m so sorry this is so long I hope you found it entertaining at least. Sending loveee

hi! i'd be happy to give you advice, so i absolutely don't mind you jumping on the advice train haha. first of all, i'd like to say that i completely understand why you would find yourself attracted to her because she definitely seems to have an aura that can pull you in. also, given everything that you've told me, it does seem that she's been flirting with you a little bit... whether it's intentional or not, it's hard to tell, and the fact that she has a family only complicates things. i think that the only way of figuring out what her true feelings towards you are is by talking to her about it. i know that might seem a bit scary, but in my opinion, having a conversation about it is better than guessing.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

Do you think you’d be interested in doing a nsfw A-Z for BCS characters but mainly Jimmy😳🥴

ive had this in my drafts for the longest time but this was such a good idea!!! i rly wanna do more prompt type things so i may try to find some more :3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

jimmy is the sweetest most cuddly loveydovey man you'd ever have the pleasure of banging 🥺🥺🥺 lots of hugs and kisses and telling you what a great job you did and oh my god you're so gorgeous he could do this every night

saul is not as affectionate but he'll give you some praise. maybe a high five and a "woo! nice job, kid!" if he's feeling silly. unless it's during business hours. then it's "get back to work, mr. squidward."

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

partner - chest. man is a boob fiend. partly why trans men are a guilty pleasure for him bc whether they've had top surgery or not he's fixated on their chests

himself - i actually don't know? maybe his hair. he seems to put a lot of effort into it (even when he starts going better call bald 😔) so i think maybe that. also he loves having it tugged on bc he's a slut

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

facials. dirty boy loves making a mess of you >:3

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

i expanded on this here but basically he's repressing his bisexuality. he would like to have sex with men more often but he can't bring himself to go out and get some dick. again, trans men are a guilty pleasure bc to him they're a compromise. he rationalizes that it's not really gay if he has a pussy (let him have this he's trying)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he is VERY sexually experienced with cis women. not at all with anyone else. but he's a quick learner. regardless of what setup anyone has, he'll figure out what makes them tick

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

cowgirl!! ride this baby boy he loves it. he likes it bc he loves having someone push him down and take what they want from him (and also he doesn't have to do as much work which is great for his old man joints 😌)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he'll be silly goofy in foreplay, but he gets more serious as things heat up

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

fuzzy wuzzy baby boy 🤗🤗 he may trim a LITTLE if it's getting too wild but never totally shave

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

depends! not at all during his saul era. as jimmy he's more likely to be sweet with you in that way

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

the first time he touched his prostate he screamed and came harder than he ever had before and he's scared to do it again

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

dirty talk!!! he's got a lot to say. he just loves seeing the effect his words have on you and how they can really make the difference between good sex and mindblowing sex

also when he's having sex with other men chances are he's topping, so if they're okay with it he'd be into calling them slurs bc it makes him feel powerful

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

car sex! getting ridden in the driver's seat, his body pressed on top of yours as he fucks you in the backseat, bending you over the hood, he loves it all

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he's a shameless flirt. he'll go in with STRATEGIC rizz to try to get someone in bed with him, but he CANNOT deal with reciprocation. the second someone shows a crumb of interest in him he fumbles. and if you fire back with sass he'll basically beg you to take him right then and there

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he cannot take extreme pain. he's curious about masochism and likes getting slapped/spanked and having his hair pulled but he's not into anything that would bruise. he's sensitive :( also he likes choking his partner but he doesn't like getting choked himself

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

absolutely loves receiving it!! he loves having his balls licked ehehe they're sensitive

loves giving it too BUT if it's not a cis woman's pussy he's in the trenches. the first time he saw a t-dick he was stunned. but, being the man of reason that he is, he figured "well! that looks like a little dick. can i suck it?" and immediately tested his theory and fell in love with t-dicks

when it comes to amab dicks? he's trash. he cannot suck dick to save his life. no lips and too bad of a gag reflex ☹️

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

tends to be on the faster/rougher side. slow and sensual is only if he's in a long term relationship with someone (or if he's subbing and needs his partner to be gentle)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

man CANONICALLY gets blown in his office during the work day. he loves em

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

see above.

also! generally yeah. i think he's in the camp of "don't knock it til you try it" so he'd be down to try almost anything once

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

old man. he can maybe nut once or twice before he taps out. but he'll always make sure his partner's taken care of

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

YES i think he'd have a pretty decent arsenal. he's got a couple vibrators for partners and some cock rings/sleeves for himself. for either he's probably got a ballgag and a blindfold and he's definitely the type to own a pair of those cheap fuzzy handcuffs.

also i can't get this idea out of my head of him trying to talk himself out of it but finally cracking, buying a buttplug, and then never trying it out because he's scared 😭

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

if i have to answer this question im logging off y'allready KNOW

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

jimmy's a whiny bitch and he's LOUD!!!!! saul does a better job of keeping it down (he actually tries to stifle himself a bit bc he doesn't wanna show feelings teehee send this man to therapy)

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he has a piss kink. cope.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

abt 5.5 inches, fat, uncut, big juicy buals

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think pretty high! mentally he's always down but he got old man dick (canonically takes viagra 💀) so he can't go as much as he'd like

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after a particularly intense round he'll conk out almost instantly. but most of the time he's down for cuddling and pillow talk

[youremyheaven]

I love your horse post!💘💕

Honestly I’d love to see more discussion about yoni animals. Here are some of my thoughts that I wanted to share with you because I’m not sure if I’m misinterpreting stuff or not

(Yap incoming)

-Snake yoni are the type of people to like sex for the emotional connection rather than the physicality? Not that they don’t like the physicality, but rather they like how physicality connects them with that person instead of just the pleasure of it. For mrig specifically, you talked a lot about mars and celibacy which I agree with, but I know a lot of mrig moons with horse/buffalo yoni suns who are very sexually active and open about it, but it’s usually not very casual to them even if it’s outside a relationship

- A lot of cat yoni have sex only so that they can have children. You mentioned a while back in a post about how sex is painful for cats and vaginismus in cat yoni women, but also historically cats have always been a symbol of motherhood due to the fact that they can have large litters. Again I’m sure some cat yoni moons still like sex bc of other placements but still

- But then you have rat/hares who have such huge litters to the extent that they become invasive species. I can’t remember if it was Claire who said about how jyestha men are the types to have 1000 illegitimate children due to the hare yoni influence 😂 I feel like these ppl are the opposite of snake/cat yoni because they just have sex to physically satisfy themselves

-Elephant yoni are kind of private about their sexual attraction? Even though they’re one of the horniest yoni, they have this sense of dignity which makes them keep most of their sex drive to themselves. Not as in they’re conservative, you just wouldn’t have them pinned as a freak if you didn’t know them like that

-I have a theory that smaller yoni are more passive sexually, mainly because the smaller sex drive means they don’t have that “instinct” to tell them what to do so they’d rather have someone else do the legwork.

Might apply less to straight men because of how they’re socialised, they’re scared to be a little passive because it’s “gay” or whatever. I imagine this would create the kind of guy who expects oral from you but never wants to finger or eat 🐱. Need a field expert to verify that one though

🩷🤍

thanku cutie <33 i'll make more yoni related posts in the future hehe

Snake yoni being emotionally intense and having an emotional attachment to sex is vv true. I dont think they feel satisfied unless they have one of those soul merging tantric type encounters. Their feelings run deep and sex to them is super profound. i feel like that intensity can be scary af for others. Snakes are scary creatures and if you've watched snakes fornicate, you know that its a weird visual where they kind of merge into each other. This is precisely the kind of intimacy these natives crave, they want to merge into you. 🥵scary but hot

the Cat yoni observation is interesting and could be true. idk if it applies to Ashlesha as much bc I've never really met an Ashlesha who had any maternal desire lmao but with Punarvasus it could be true but something I've noticed is that even if they dont really crave/like/want penetration, Cat yoni girliesss love the foreplay sesh,, they love to make out, they love to touch and fondle, they're like cats,, they want affection on their terms basically lmao,, I also think Cat yoni girlies love getting head more than anybody else lmao 👀 for them foreplay is sex and penetration is kind of an afterthought. I also feel like this makes them pillow princesses lmao

I had mentioned this about rat yoni before but yes precisely. sex does not mean much to these natives, they just love the satisfaction they derive from it. their libido is extremely high and they seldom feel satisfied with just one partner.

elephant yoni folks being private could be true??? but i feel like they are the people who are KNOWN for being sexy af,, they may or may not express it openly (some of them, def do) but they are 100% known for their sex appeal,, its the largest yoni animal for a reason. like rihanna, revati moon and rising, angelina jolie, revati moon, megan thee stallion, bharani rising,, cardi b, revati moon etc i feel like they wear their sexuality on their sleeve and talk about it openly?? they ooze such big dick energy, both men and women??? so intimidating and hottt 🥵🥵

you're right about that theory of yours to some extent😉not all small yoni animals are passive, each animal has its own sexual nature, so there are many variations. like cat yoni is def passive and they're pillow princesses who will not reciprocate anything but rat/hare yoni and dog yoni are different from that?? not to let my Venusian men bias show but Purvaphalguni men (rat yoni) will literally cover your whole body in kisses and go to town on you without expecting anything in return,, they love to enjoy the female form?? they love to take pleasure in your physicality and sensuality. making love to you is what is pleasurable to them, not anything you can do for them. looking at you, touching you, feeling you, doing whatever they like with you,, thats whats fun,, so they are not passive in the slighest, in fact they're so passionate and over the top and truly nasty freaks.

Venusian men also love to give head 👀and dont really expect you to return it or anything,, im not saying they'll hate if you do,, except that they're doing it for themselves bc they want to taste you, not for any other reason 🙈

[denimbex1986]

'What happened to the days of asking movie stars about... oh we don’t know... the movie they actually starred in on the red carpet? Hollywood may be glamorous and more than a little sexy, but it’s also a workplace. No one should have to answer a question about their colleague’s naked body in their place of employment unless they’re a dermatologist scanning another dermatologist for moles or something. Which would still be kind of weird.

The latest offender to participate in this incredibly frustrating trend is the BBC, who subjected All Of Us Strangers star Andrew Scott to an icky and repeated line of questioning about Barry Keoghan’s penis while covering the BAFTA awards earlier this week. In a video that has since gone viral, BBC correspondent Colin Paterson asked Scott, who is gay, how well he knew fellow Irish actor Barry Keoghan before pressing him to comment on the latter’s naked dance scene at the end of Saltburn, a movie Scott had nothing to do with. Scott, visibly uncomfortable, eventually walks away from the interviewer while he continues to pepper him with questions. Warning: it’s a pretty rough watch.

After widespread backlash on Twitter/X in which fans accused Paterson’s questions of being homophobic, “cringe-worthy,” and generally creepy, BBC issued a statement this morning apologizing for the whole incident. Well, sort of. “Saltburn is a film which has had cultural impact, with Barry Keoghan’s scene at the end gaining a lot of attention in particular—something the actor has addressed himself,” they wrote. “Our question to Andrew Scott was meant to be a light-hearted reflection of the discussion around the scene and was not intended to cause offence.” The statement also acknowledges that Saltburn director, Emerald Fennell, and Sophie Ellis-Bextor, whose song “Murder On The Dance Floor” is used in the scene, were questioned about it as well. While this may also have been uncomfortable, at least the two women were actually involved in the film. Scott, again, just happens to be an actor with a movie out around the same time who shares a homeland with Keoghan.

The statement concludes: “We do, however, accept that the specific question asked to Andrew Scott was misjudged. After speaking with Andrew on the carpet, our reporter acknowledged on air that his questioning may have gone too far and that he was sorry if this was the case.”

Unfortunately, Scott isn’t the only actor who’s been subjected to this sort of overtly sexual and extremely uncomfortable line of questioning in recent months. In January, Ayo Edebiri was asked to comment on her The Bear co-star Jeremy Allen White’s sexy Calvin Klein ad by two separate interviewers on the Golden Globes red carpet—a subject she clearly had no interest in engaging with. Just this week, TikTok influencer Harry Daniels also received a lot of negative attention for videos from the People’s Choice Awards in which he asked stars like Billie Eilish and America Ferrera if they’d rather have a “gay son or thot daughter,” to their visible discomfort.

Not only is this trend gross and invasive, but it’s also just plain boring. Actors put an unbelievable amount of work into making the movies that get nominated for these awards, and that’s what they should get to talk about during the celebration of that effort. It’s not even hard to get them to talk about movies they weren’t involved in (at least in Edebiri’s case) as long as the conversation hinges on the actual movie itself. Everything else should stay off the carpet.'

[thelesbianpoirot]

Idk what that dead ringers anon is talking about bc even if you set aside the obvious fact that woman focused media gets less general interest, (people will happily ignore female characters in their shows to write dissertations about how various ugly men are ‘babygirl’ and ‘wifecoded’ (🤢) and ‘sapphic’ but god forbid they actually give that same time to the actual women in the show) all that talk about mean or weird or offputting woman is just that. Unless it’s titillating or has a happy end or they’re able to moralize about it or they find an actress hot and want to project on the character. And this isn’t doesn’t just apply to Dead Ringers like I’ve been in lesbian fandoms for years and noticed that all the popular media is lead by white, feminine and with palatable personalities. If they’re non white (esp if black particularly dark skinned), butch or masculine women (not the Hollywood lipstick wearing butches like real ones esp fat ones lol), genuinely offputting women who’s issues can’t be explained away with trauma or mental illness (they claim they love freaks but when a woman genuinely sucks people get so angry lol) people generally don’t care. Or they’ll fake interest to seem politically correct but stop talking about it once they’ve declared a token fave lol. Obviously there are shows with popular masc and characters of color but one glance at the most popular lesbian fandoms will reveal the majority biases. They live for white woman in procedurals some who aren’t even gay (shout out to rizzoli&isles lmao) or genre shows with lighter skinned partnered interracial couples that make sure their characters are ‘likeable’. Weirder and more diverse is out there but the ratings don’t lie and neither do fanfiction and fandom like you can tell which show people go hard for and which shows people prop up as tokens but don’t actually have interest in. Yeah not every show that’s ignored is good but at the end of the day people don’t really want to examine their choices and faves and that’s their right but I wish they’d be upfront about why

PREACH SIS

[dykesynthezoid]

Truly still find Bridgerton so underwhelming… oh it’s a period fantasy where POC get to just exist but then the representation is actually often pretty lackluster. It’s “for the girls” but it’s not even good at that bc it tries to modernize regency tropes but without like, actually interrogating the majority of the misogyny faced by regency women. It ignores historical accuracy in its design which is fair but also doesn’t bother to use that as an excuse to actually go all out and make their sets and costumes interesting. The dresses rarely fit the actresses properly. They just spray everything with rhinestones. Gay people aren’t allowed to exist in the story unless they’re actively obsessed with the main heterosexuals’ love lives. Every one of the these white men is also deeply underwhelming. Like I literally do not care about them. I’d kill myself for someone to wear a fucking bonnet

[half-moonshine-full-eclipse]

the thing about g*ylor is… there isn’t really one thing about g*ylor. it’s a shifting sand of several truths at once.

harassing and doxxing people who interpret an ambiguous song as possibly being about a woman and threatening to out a minor to her homophobic family because she was one of those people is fucked up, and wrong.

it’s true that Taylor Alison Swift has never explicitly stated that she’s queer, and she primarily writes songs about men.

acting as if the only ways to signal queerness are disconnected from femininity and feminine aesthetics is fucked up, and wrong.

it’s true that most of Taylor’s music can be directly connected to a man she was interested in, even if some of it does feel performative and superficial.

extreme hostility toward any queer women in the fanbase who connects with the songs Taylor writes because of her own queerness and not in spite of it is fucked up, and wrong.

it’s true that most g*ylor theories are in direct defiance of observed “lore”, are sometimes extremely complicated and self-referential, and are often backed by pretty flawed analysis or understandings of a situation.

treating fans whose opinions will never be seen by Taylor unless she explicitly goes looking for them as if they’re hurting her simply by existing, and attempting to harass and dismiss them out of hand when plenty of inappropriate and invasive behavior is displayed by fans who think she’s straight, is fucked up, and wrong.

it’s also true that Taylor has never said that she’s straight, and has dodged the question in interviews and in her own statements. saying “stop assuming I’m dating my friends” and “even if I associate with women the public assumes I’m romantically involved with everyone because they’re obsessed with my romantic relationships” is not a confirmation of heterosexuality.

she definitely does not go around picking boyfriends so that she can use them to cover up the women the songs are “actually” about.

the timelines around writing certain songs, and the references that correspond to her life, and her secret messages, do indicate that her public persona and the public narrative is purposefully different from what actually happened.

there’s a serious biphobia problem in g*ylor communities - there’s a real refusal to believe that she could be genuinely into men at all, which translates to hostility toward bi people in these spaces.

there are an awful lot of songs about ambiguously gendered partners, and several love songs explicitly referencing traits or behaviors associated with her female friends. there’s a real discomfort with acknowledging this in the broader fandom.

and I could go on, but uh. mostly? g*ylor, right now, is really fucking racist, because the major spaces are absolutely insistent that instead of Taylor going crazy for a hot boy who ended up being really terrible, she’s choosing to stunt with a racist who materially set back gay rights in Malaysia and argues with Muslim teenagers on Twitter about how religion is fake, because those things matter less to her than being outed as a lesbian. Matty being a PR cover > Taylor making a mistake and trying to apologize and process.

lmao nope.

[leonardalphachurch]

okay i’m posting this actually to get onions. i originally said all this on discord and am not editing this and probably adding more so this is ramble-y and long as hell. click at your own risk. edit fuck i didn’t even say what this was about. this is. potential rvb tumblr sexyman poll. okay. okay

this is ugly but when i run the actual contest i would make a custom one. anyway here’s how i currently have the standings

north

siris

york

grif

south

connie

wash

simmons

479er

ohio AND/OR idaho AND/OR iowa

maine

wyoming

alpha OR epsilon

tex

kimball

carolina

donut

caboose

tucker

kai

sheila

grey

doc

omega OR o’malley

sarge

locus

kalirama OR chrovos OR genkins ???

one of the ai? one of the blues and reds?

temple

sharkface

felix

write in

so the ORs are going to be qualifier rounds. i figure these characters fit the same niche so it’s very unlikely that someone would vote for one of them in a round and not vote the other so there’s no need to have both- clears up the standings.

this isn’t a 1 vs 32 set up i just ordered them by their contestants. bc i thought a lot about the match ups. trying to figure out a way to avoid sweeps while also making sure minimal heavy hitters are out first round. unless there’s a big upset. which is interesting enough in its own right!

originally i wanted to have grif v simmons bc funny to pit boyfs against each other but i didn’t want wash v york in the first round and i couldn’t think of anyone else to face either of them.

same with tex. tex and wash are such heavy hitters putting them against anyone early on seems unfair. but i don’t want either of them out first round either. but having tex beat church is funnee so it’s okay if she thrashes him

and then simmons and wash are. like simmons doesn’t have much of a chance but they both hit the “ppl who like unhinged men with knives (non villain edition)” demographic so i think they’re fine first round. not ideal but. i don’t know who would be better

okay actually let me explain all of my reasoning. bc i’m insane.

north v siris - dad energy

york v grif - slacker energy

these matchups will PROBABLY get us: york v north - basic white man all the tumblr girlies lose their mind over energy

the other potential match ups for second round are less interesting but they’re not awful and also pretty unlikely imo

south v connie - Women

wash v simmons - unstable knife men (good guy edition)

these will probably get us: wash v south - recovery agent rematch! OR wash v connie - pfl underdog fight

simmons. i cannot foresee simmons winning. but if he does then pairing him against woman. hilarious

from there it will PROBABLY be either york or north v wash and that’s white men tumblr girlies lose their minds over… 2. think it will be york v wash but good match up either way

next section we have:

479er v triplets - minor freelancer characters

maine v wyoming - early villains

the match up that comes out of these will not be the most interesting but it will at least be secondary freelancer characters vs

tex v church - divorced! divorced!

carolina v kimball - women battered by war trying to make a new life for themselves in peace time…. also they’re gay

that will almost certainly get us tex v carolina which. well. heads will fucking roll

from there it’ll probably be: tex v maine - heavyweights fight OR carolina v maine - season 10 rematch!

at this point it’s hard to really predict but all options seem at least semi interesting for the semi finals. and i would bet they’ll be wash v tex which is. battle of the two heaviest hitters imo. absolute blood bath.

i know that no one is reading this but that’s okay i don’t mind talking to myself

anyway

for the right side:

donut v caboose - rookies fight

kai v tucker - sluts fight

i would guess this results in: donut v tucker - sluts fight round 2 OR caboose v tucker - season 2 rematch for churchs attention

sheila v grey - they’re both ladies with a friendly caring exterior that enjoy violence and are kind of unhinged

doc v one of the omegas - will doc finally overcome his inner demons??? (no)

this is kind of a weak section. doc v grey would be a fun match up for battle of the doctors but i’m pretty impartial to who’s taking this section. if anyone has ideas for better match ups here let me know

sarge v locus - this one’s the weakest reasoning for a first round match up honestly. they’re both muscular?? yeah i got nothing. this section needs some serious work so PLEASE give suggestions if you have them. right now my plans for 27 and 28 are to run qualifier rounds but i need to know what people those rounds should be

temple v sharkface - i hate project freelancer *makes out*

felix v audience choice - i couldn’t decide who i wanted to pit against felix and i wanted one option for people to submit a character i hadn’t thought would fit SO i let everyone else pick who versus felix. note that i’m not taking ideas for this one right now, there will be a post once the official rankings are released and whoever gets the most requests will be put in. i want advice for everything else here but i get final say for all other rankings— this one i will put any character regardless of my thoughts on the matter if they have enough votes

this is harder to judge next matchup bc we don’t know who’s there but i think felix will beat whoever so: temple v felix - will you stop monologuing? OR sharkface v felix - s13 villain fight

next matchup i PRAY would be felix v locus. we need this. locus kick his ass baby.

i do also kind of want felix to win that tho bc then we get felix and tucker in the semifinals and well. TUCKER KICK HIS ASS BABY.

i guess this means i foresee final match up being wash v tucker. and wash winning. i guess it always comes back to tuckington damn.

anyway predicting the final match ups isn’t whats important here whats important is making sure they’re all interesting and no matter who’s in the finals it’s gonna be interesting.

right now like i said before i really need advice on the 25-28 seed section. i wouldn’t mind advice on the 17-24 or really any of the sections tho. you can see i have thought. a LOT about making the most compelling match ups but if you think you have better idea please share.

thanks for reading all this also what’s wrong with you for reading all this.